Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
