my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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