I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
