She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
