is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I have fence marks all over my body
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
