so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
