Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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