Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
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