Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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