im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
