Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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