Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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