he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
