...so i touched it.
barbara walters just said penis...
I just gift wrapped bread.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
