If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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