Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
