just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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