I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
