It's like God shit irony all over that family
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
