I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
