...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just pynch a tree in the face
are you so shy because you have an std?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
