i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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