I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
