Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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