oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Randomize
