You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
