i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
