U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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