you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
If I die, sorry about rent.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
