You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
