Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
