I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
