giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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