So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
