I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
