Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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