she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
