it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
