So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
