So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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