no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
