so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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