In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I intend to get homeless drunk
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
