What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
