I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
