We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
