apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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