I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
