dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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