i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
