If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
