her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
