YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
