i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
