Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
